I’m a worrier by nature. I worry about a lot of things for a lot of different reasons. In an effort to control my worrying, I plan. I often plan and develop strategies to deal with stressful situations that may (or may not) pop up. Or I may plan in order to prevent stressful situations from arising. Either way, it’s all about managing my anxiety levels.
Nothing raises my anxiety quite like traveling. Traveling is my passion so it seems rather ironic that it would also be a source of stress for me but it is. As a person of size, flying can be particularly stress inducing.
Will I fit in the seat? Will the seat belt fit? Will I be sitting next to someone? Will they (or I) feel uncomfortable? Will I get a funny look when I ask “Is this seat taken?” Will I be embarrassed if I ask for a seat belt extender?
There are so many variables that have the potential to cause my stomach to twist and turn into knots. It’s no wonder I have developed strategies to help mitigate my anxiety. I’m happy to share some of those strategies with you.
Confidently ask for a seat belt extender as soon as you board
I often repeat a mantra to myself as I am walking down the jet bridge: “I will hold my head high. I will hold my head high.” I say this to remind myself not to feel ashamed when asking for a seat belt extender and to encourage myself to do so as soon as I step foot on the plane. It just feels easier and more discrete. And flight attendants are consummate professionals. If they are not able to give you an extender right then and there (they are usually standing next to the cabinet in which they are stored) then they will discretely hand you one at your seat.
Pay extra to choose a seat
The ability to choose your a seat being included in the cost of your airfare is a thing of the past. Most airlines require you to pay extra for the privilege of picking your own seat. I happily pay that fee because choosing my own seat significantly reduces the stress and embarrassment associated with having to ask to sit next to someone who really doesn’t want to sit next to me. When picking my own seat, the person sitting next to me still may not be happy about it but they are less likely to direct their displeasure towards me.
Also, when traveling with my husband (who is also plus-sized), I always put him in the aisle seat and me in the window seat. That way, people are less likely to choose the dreaded middle seat and hubs and I have a better chance of having the row to ourselves. If the flight is booked and someone is forced to choose the middle seat, I offer to let them have the window seat so they won’t feel sandwiched.
Pay extra for priority boarding or early-bird check-in
Even if I pick my seat in advance, I try to pay extra for priority boarding. That way, I don’t have to worry about my hips knocking my personal bag into the heads of other passengers as I walk down the aisle. In addition, in situations where I can’t pick my own seat (I’m looking at you, Southwest!), this strategy allows me the opportunity to have a better array of seats from which to choose.
I know it seems like a lot of extra fees to pay just for being fat but when you are a plus-sized traveler with anxiety issues, paying a little extra goes a long way towards preserving one’s peace of mind.
Fly Southwest Airlines
Someone told me recently that Southwest Airlines has a policy that says if you are a customer of size and fear you might spill into the other seat, you can purchase two tickets to ensure that you have the space that you need. Once your flight is over, you can call them and have the cost of the second ticket refunded. I didn’t believe them at first so I did a little digging and I’ll be damned if it ain’t true! (Read their Customer of Size policy here. Also read about other airlines’ policies to compare.)
I have not tried this out so I can’t speak to how well this policy is executed but it’s going to be something I try in the future. Buying an extra seat (and having that money refunded) would solve so many stress-inducing issues from the jump. I can’t imagine a reason I wouldn’t give this policy a try.
You deserve to take up space
In the age of fat-shaming and fat-phobia, it’s important to remember that we deserve to be here on this planet, taking up the space we take up and enjoying our lives along the way. Traveling is such an amazing, transformative, and soul-nurturing experience. Don’t let fears or anxieties rob you of that. Do what you have to do to ensure you embrace all of the joy that travel has to offer.
